Let’s face it: Stress is endemic to the frenetic pace of modern life. Luckily, for every reason there is to feel under pressure, there is a wellness retreat somewhere in the world claiming a cure. But like most forms of therapy, finding which wellness works well for you is no easy task. Some betterment programs take a scientific approach, causing your personal wellbeing to feel like the subject matter of a supervised clinical practicum. Others defer to ancient practices, such as Ayurvedic yoga in India or Mesoamerican temazcales. Choosing where to wellness can be, quite paradoxically, as anxiety-inducing as whatever trials and tribulations you hoped to escape. Don’t panic. Whether you’re in need of a Ketamine sob session in the desert or a high-tech, high-altitude awakening, the right self-improvement getaway is out there. You just need to know where to look.
The Type A
You rarely skip hot yoga. Your medicine cabinet is stocked with products by Barbara Sturm. And you never go to bed without your Dr. Dennis Gross DRx SpectraLite face mask …
SHA Wellness Clinic, Alicante, Spain
With its sleek white exteriors, floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the Altea bay and glassy pools that resemble a set designed by Stanley Kubrik, SHA Wellness Clinic is the perfect MedSpa for go-getters eager to defy time, or “slow down biological aging” at the clinic’s introductory pamphlet puts it. The endless medical consultations, diagnostic tests, “ageless-youth” facials, fat-zapping vacuum sessions and “advanced aesthetics'' hair transplants are designed for those self-improvers who equate “feeling good” with putting their local botox bar to shame.
The Aesthete
You worship at the altar of Marie Kondo. You buy Palo Santo by the bundle. And your apartment is shoes-off only…
Shou Sugi Ban House, Hamptons, New York
Shou Sugi Ban House, named for the Japanese style of black charred wood you’ll find around the property, is for those who need to work, eat and sleep in environments sanctioned by a Buddha statue and soundtracked by a multitude of zen water features. Customized overnight retreats include organic breakfasts (miso soup and, if you’re lucky, poached eggs) and an a-la-carte wellness menu that includes sound and light therapy, lymphatic drainage rituals, crystal healing, reiki, Shiatsu bodywork and Watsu aquatic massage, to name but a few modalities.
The Open-Minded
You’ve done peyote in Mexico, ayahuasca in Peru and, let’s be real, you still do Burning Man…
Silo Wellness Group Ketamine Retreat, Oregon
Your mind is as open as a tuna can. Your life has been transformed more times than the lead hero in a Michael Bay film. Still, there’s the promise of ketamine as treatment for depression. (PRIOR disclaimer: Ketamine is not a psychedelic, so it can be legally administered in the United States by physicians or psychologists in controlled settings.) The newest offering from Silo Wellness, a company spearheading today’s “psychedelic renaissance,” is a six-day ketamine “escape.” This K journey, however, is carefully supervised. Ketamine-assisted therapy sessions are guided by a naturopathic physician, who offers treatment support every step of the way. Held at Cooper Spur Mountain Resort, a rustic lodge near Hood River surrounded by pine trees, the retreat is surprisingly active. Hiking and meditation in the forest, it turns out, are the best way to come down from the sort of mind-altering, introspective trips Silo promises.
The Sensualist
You own a t-shirt that reads, “A glass of red a day keeps the doctor away.” You treat aprés ski as an Olympic sport. A day combing through bins at a sample sale burns just as many calories as a nice jog…
